List of badass insults


 * Instead of a family tree, you live in a family cactus, because everyone on it is a prick.
 * I could eat alphabet soup and shit out a better comeback then yours
 * Your birth certificate is a apology letter by the condom factory
 * We all sprang from the apes, but you didn't seem to spring far enough
 * Out of 100,000 sperm, you were the fastest? Speed must have been to make up for your stupidity
 * I would ask how old you are, but I know you can't count that high
 * Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?