Pedophile Kool-Aid Man

Little know of the Pedophile Kool-Aid Man, but he's as real as he is red.

Where he is
The Pedophile Kool-Aid Man is a hard thing to track. Some people have seen him, but he has invisibility powers, so most people only see him from the corner of their eyes, making a seductive face, rubbing himself. "I swear to God I saw the Kool-Aid man for a second there, rubbing himself, whispering "Oh yeah..."" said Jommy Nootren, karaoke singer, "But then he was just gone."

What he does
Every night when a child is sleeping, the Pedophile Kool-Aid man comes crashing through their walls, and says "Oh yeah..." in a seductive voice. The crashed wall, the Kool-Aid man, and the child's screams are completely non-existent to anyone else in the world, the child and the man only know what's going on. When the Kool-Aid man is done raping the child, he does a final thrust and penetrates the childs ass, through the intestines, and out their mouth.. The next day, the child is a missing person, without a trace of evidence.

What you should do to protect yourself
What are you talking about? You can't protect yourself! He's the goddamn Pedophile Kool-Aid Man! If you are a child, kiss your hiney goodbye, because the Pedophile Kool-Aid man may just come on in and give you a nice treat!



What his fate is
The Pedophile Kool-aid man became the Zoophile Coca-cola man when he accidentally touched radioactive dirt, now, he enjoys fucking animals